355. Parental Consent for Marriage

355

Parental Consent for Marriage

6 December 2020

To an individual Bahá’í

Dear Bahá’í Friend,

355.1 The Universal House of Justice has received your email letter of … raising a number of questions about the process by which parents may discharge their responsibilities under the Bahá’í law of parental consent for marriage. We have been asked to convey the following….

355.2 Since the specific guidance in the authoritative text pertaining to consent is quite limited, the friends should not transform it into an elaborate process. It may be helpful, instead, to consider the overall purpose of and approach to the law. In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, Bahá’u’lláh declared:

It hath been laid down in the Bayán that marriage is dependent upon the consent of both parties. Desiring to establish love, unity and harmony amidst Our servants, We have conditioned it, once the couple’s wish is known, upon the permission of their parents, lest enmity and rancour should arise amongst them. And in this We have yet other purposes.

355.3 As this text makes clear, the law of parental consent for marriage is directly linked to the principle of unity. The House of Justice suggests that the questions you have raised largely resolve themselves if there were a greater appreciation on the part of Bahá’í parents of unity’s centrality in family life. The objective of parents should be to raise their children in an environment wherein love for the Faith and its teachings, and of the children for their parents would naturally emerge—which are obviously influenced by the parents’ own devotion to the Cause and love for their children. Characterized by care, courtesy, and respect, the relationship between parents and children should continue to grow as the children reach the age of maturity. In such a milieu, parents and children would develop a deep understanding of the standards of the Faith and would be guided by them. Naturally, the topic of marriage and preparation for it would be part of the conversation that parents and children would have over time. Through such dialogue, a child can develop an appreciation of what makes a strong marriage and what qualities he or she would look for in a potential marriage partner, and the parents would welcome their child’s eventual choice.

355.4 Bahá’u’lláh has clearly emphasized both the choice of the couple and the purpose of establishing love, unity, and harmony. The House of Justice has been concerned about a tendency among some parents to use consent in a manner, often involving increasingly elaborate measures, that is not in keeping with this spirit and intent in an attempt to exercise control over their child or to impose an intrusive check on the judgement of the child in his or her choice of marriage partner.

355.5 If issues do arise after the child asks for consent to marry, the child and the parents would, because of their loving relationship, be able to engage in consultation that would illuminate the way forward. Like so many aspects of Bahá’u’lláh’s Revelation, the Bahá’í teachings on family life summon believers to strive to attain new levels of spiritual maturity. As parents and the family environments they create move towards such a goal, the multitude of problems that many currently face in the parent-child relationship would naturally melt away, including in connection with questions about consent for marriage. \

355.6 You, …, and your children are assured of the supplications of the House of Justice in the Holy Shrines that the blessings of Bahá’u’lláh may surround your family.

With loving Bahá’í greetings,

Department of the Secretariat